The second look phenomena: of unexpected friendships
Have you ever encountered the second look phenomena?
Obviously self-titled, please don’t look it up.
Filed under the topic of adult relationships, let me describe it. The second look phenomena is the exact moment when you cross paths and meet someone again, as if it was the first time. This person didn’t exactly hold significant meaning in your life in the past. You may have known each other simply by name, quick greetings, or a conversation if the situation called for it; but nothing remarkably noteworthy.
But this time, upon meeting them again, something has changed. This person is not the same person you met in the past. There’s a difference that goes beyond physical or even that second first impression that dawned upon you. This time, this person feels changed. This person has changed.
I once stumbled upon an organization online that sparked my interest for the cause they pursued. It was to my surprise that one of the employees was my middle school batchmate. As we conversed about the platform and some things here and there, I couldn’t help but think how that moment of us conversing and exchanging thoughts held both irony and opportunity. We’d both agree that though our past selves would have similar hobbies, the truth is we never really conversed in length.
And at that moment, in that exchange, somewhere in that conversation about the things at present that reflect who we are — there was unison and alignment.
We meet people at different phases of our lives.
When we’re okay, when we’re not okay.
When we’re confident, when we’re lost.
When we’re our better version, when we’re rock bottom.
When we’re version A, when we’re version B.
By nature we gravitate towards those who align with who we are at a certain time. We want to be with people who get us and understand us. But sometimes, we can’t see other people clearly because we’re occupied seeing ourselves first.
As we get along with people, leave some as we go, and pick some new ones if chance permits; it’s only when we look back and realize that we are not the same person we used to be. And with this comes the understanding that the people around us also have the ability to change and become anew.
There is beauty when the elements of time, situation, and personal growth piece together to pave the way for people to meet. Sometimes the people from our past come up clearer at present because they are the ones meant to align more with who we are now. It will come off as a surprise but it’s also our choice if we wish to embrace it.
On the onset one may think it entails embracing just this new relationship and this new person standing in front of us.
But the bigger acceptance comes in embracing this person, familiar yet different, changing yet same
— you.
