Sincerely, Perpetually (Un)bothered

Here’s a take: the present-day millennial is a perpetually anxious person. 

Whether used as an adjective to describe our state of being, 

a label to a clinical diagnosis, 

or simply a way to describe oneself; 

anxiety exists— sometimes expected, often uninvited. 

Being anxious has made its way as such a normal, casual way of describing one’s feelings that we can even say it’s become habitual. For some, the feeling of anxiety comes as natural as declaring a feeling of sadness, even happiness.  

My therapist once explained that the root cause of anxiety comes from the basic human behavior of worrying about the future, moreso, the desire to take control of what is not in sight. 

The feeling of uncertainty. 

The desire to know what’s next. 

The discomfort with simply being and not doing. 

It is only in recent years when the rise of a familiar neighbor came about — the unbothered. 

The conscious decision to stay indifferent to what doesn’t matter,

To not worry as much, 

To not overthink the unnecessary, 

To ride it out without question. 

Nothing can get more self-explanatory than what it is: simply, unbothered. 

The state of being unbothered has become so coveted that it’s turned aspirational. Nonchalance, relaxation, and ease all rolled into one persona? Give me some of that, please. 

Broad proclamations of letting go and letting be has turned into a modern cry. Maybe we can say that it serves as a testimony that we are figuring out what’s important to us vis-a-vis what is not, what values we hold closely versus what beliefs have to stay in the past. 

But one thing stands as a crucial point of acceptance before we can truly live out this whole embodiment of nonchalance: accepting that we are indeed, bothered. 

It would be ideal to say we started out from a clean slate but rare is the case. We have to come into terms with the reality that before we decided to let go a little bit we were holding onto things a little too tight. 

We want to be unbothered because we are bothered. 

We don’t want to care as much because we already care too much. 

We don’t want to overthink this time because we already think through every step. 

And so we try, right? 

We know we can be a little too much even for our own good so we try to mellow it down. We know that we aren’t in control so we just hope life will align and manifest as it should. We know we can’t handle everything so for once we ought to handle just one thing — ourselves. 

Maybe by saying in repetition that we are unbothered we not only get accustomed to the statement but the power it truly holds for us. 

Maybe it is that necessary reminder, that confidence boost, that we need to hear to actually start making the changes we need. 

Maybe it does sound like a temporary cover-up, but when said over and over again, we eventually live out its true meaning. 

So go, be unbothered as you rightfully deserve. 

But never fool yourself of who you really are, as bothered as you may be. 

Sincerely,

Perpetually (Un)bothered