AI prompt: How do I meet new friends in my 30s —and beyond?
How do we meet new friends?
A common theme that cuts across is this reality: the older we get, the more difficult it is to gain new, genuine friendships.
Life unfolds itself as it should.
And days where we meet people by situation, by chance, or by encounter turn more infrequent.
It’s just how it is.
People have their own lives — and sometimes that statement hits stronger.
It could be said that our earlier years were a good time to make new friends thanks to a bunch of formative experiences.
First, second, third job,
The desire to network and build new relationships,
The physical energy to go out into bigger crowds,
The willpower to be out there.
It is only a matter of time when these milestones; these monumental experiences, slowly fade. Lo and behold — we’re presented simply with life.
Hanging out with the usual friends.
Going about our workday routine.
Heading for a nightcap if the invite comes.
Attending weddings, to baby showers, to birthday parties.
Though we acknowledge that meeting new friends is a human need, it slides down as a low priority and life obligations take over. The natural flow of life just doesn’t seem to intertwine as much into this concept as it did before so we allow our days to go by, as it should— sometimes with that desire in passing but often as a nice-to-have if an opportunity comes by.
But if the desire persists, it doesn’t mean we stop there.
For opportunities to open up more widely, the desire to make new friends can’t just sit. It has to be followed through by the conscious decision to do something about it, whether directly or indirectly.
It is true that time makes people more complex. A bit more guarded, a bit more walled, which naturally makes it harder to start a conversation or initiate some sort of banter. We don’t know if a person has some form of agenda towards us, which makes us careful of who we open up to.
And when we have a more firm grasp of our set of values and principles, we can’t help but wonder why it’s necessary to exert effort to create more relationships than what we already have.
But time also finds a way to make people a lot more interesting coupled with stories and experiences to share.
It is natural to rationalize our present mindset as a result of age and our experience but when too much comfort becomes a hindrance for self-growth to venture out, then maybe it’s something to revisit and tweak in ourselves. By instinct we safeguard and protect ourselves but we also have to open up the possibility that the other person we’re faced with can be more.
More than just small talk.
More than just a former acquaintance.
More than just an officemate.
More than just a friend of a friend.
And if the bigger challenge is creating a wider circle to cast that net of possibilities, the acknowledgment to do something differently about it can be made — slowly but surely.
Go about life as it should but take time to reflect on the things that most likely serve as a hindrance from meeting new people, which often comes in the form of mindset and behavioral complacency rather than tangible actions. Experience should give people wisdom and it makes sense to use that gained value to create more intentional friendships.
And if it’s any plus, experience serves as a great icebreaker to muster confidence to try out all the things society suggests to make new friends: travel, go out, join a club, find a hobby.
New relationships formed are lucky to be one-offs that fit perfectly to who we are at present but if things don’t spark instantly, it shouldn’t stop us from building and following through with these bonds.
Friends, at this stage, don’t come in presenting themselves as friends right from the get-go.
Instead, they come in as people.
A person— like you.
Hoping to find a glimmer of potential in something.
But maybe also just yearning for connection, no matter how miniscule.
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